October 26, 2014

Don't Sabotage Your Love Life: Enough Said (2013)

When I first met my husband, nearly ten years ago, we clicked almost instantly. We enjoyed talking with each other and found that despite some of our differences, we were able to connect on fundamental issues. Lucky for me, I met him at a time in my life when I was coming into my own and didn't allow too much outside opinion or my own personal fears about relationships to sabotage any potential relationship with him. Before him, however, I made my share of mistakes with the opposite sex as I'm sure you have as well; particularly with respect to allowing the opinions of others, i.e. negative Nancy, to cloud your judgment to the point that it subsequently impacts your ability to make wise choices for your own happiness. Well, if you have, you're not alone, as such was the case with Eva in Enough Said (2013).

In Enough Said (2013), Eva (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) learns the hard way that giving too much weight to outside influences can and will lead you to sabotage your love life. The irony is that she started out with more confidence and a strong sense of what she wanted in a relationship that she even realized. However, when she met Alfred (James Gandolfini), who was just the kind of guy she was looking for, although the packaging may have been a little different than she had imagined, she immediately and mistakenly looked to outside reassurance to pursue a relationship with him. Big mistake.

Despite an apparent lack of physical attraction, Eva and Alfred hit if off; that is until she began to discuss the details of her new suitor and the potential of a relationship with him with a new friend, who just so happened to be Alfred's bitter ex-wife, Marianne (Catherine Keener). Needless to say, it wasn't long before Eva unknowingly (at first) allowed Alfred's ex-wife to poison her image of him and consequently assume the same level of disdain for him as Marianne had.

Once Eva was forced to deal with the reality that she was dating her new friend's ex-husband, she was finally forced to deal with the inevitable doom of her situation. Although she lost both Marianne (as a client and friend) and Alfred due to the charade that imploded before her, she was finally able to take a step back and realize that her friendship with Marianne was built on misery loving company. She also was able to see that what she had with Alfred was real and it made her happy; despite his obvious quirks. This is something we all can take away from this movie. Sharing with friends, like Marianne is fine to a certain extent, but we should never let the Marianne in our lives influence us to the point that we begin to self-doubt and then act on that negative talk by sabotaging a potential relationship. Always remember, misery is always looking for company.

2 comments:

  1. So true. You have to listen to you own heart and filter out those naysayers if you want to see the best in your significant others. I learned that the hard way after so many failed relationships do to my own self sabotaging.

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    1. Friends and family have our best intentions (most of the time), so I don't think it's out of malice that they chime in from time to time, but rather heartfelt concern. But, what ever the case may be, we all have to learn to be confident with our own decision making and we can't do that if we are constantly relying on others to do the thinking for us. This is especially true when those same family and friends have their own stuff clouding their judgment.

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